


Transcript: Dr Death Defying Archive Tape N° 09, Dated August 22, 2019

by ace_writez



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Podfic Welcome, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:12:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_writez/pseuds/ace_writez
Summary: "Now, in my years working with the Fabulous Killjoys - and by working, I mean having these four cowards runnin’ to me with their tails between their legs whenever there was a problem - I’ve encountered a lot of wacky stuff. No zonerunner is stranger to any wacky stuff. But this story I'm about to document for whoever cares to listen is one of the wackiest. So get somewhere comfy and lend an ear, children."What happened when 2019 My Chemical Romance met 2019 Killjoys, a story badly told by our friends Party, Ghoul, Jet, and Kobra





	Transcript: Dr Death Defying Archive Tape N° 09, Dated August 22, 2019

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for the killjoys zine, but it was too long and I didn't have anything else, so after it sitting around for many weeks, I'm putting it here! I read a few fics where My Chem meet the Killjoys, and I really loved the idea, and when I found myself thinking about it a lot, I decided to write my own take. 
> 
> Also, this is in script format because I imagined it as a recording they made with Dr. Death, so Podfic is very welcome!

_Speaking_

DEATH - _Dr. Death Defying, zone rebel radio host, Helium War veteran, leader of loyal circle of zone runners, wanted B/LI criminal_

JET - _Jet Star, Fabulous Killjoy, rebel mechanic, city escapee, wanted B/LI criminal_

KOBRA - _The Kobra Kid, Fabulous Killjoy Second-In-Command, rebel tech genius, dangerous at close range, wanted B/LI criminal_

GHOUL - _Fun Ghoul, Fabulous Killjoy, firearms mechanic, deals bombs, wanted B/LI criminal_

PARTY - _Party Poison, Fabulous Killjoy Leader, driver, dangerous at far range, wanted B/LI criminal_

_TAPE BEGINS_

DEATH: Look alive, sunshine! This is Dr. Death Defying, recording for the archive tapes on August 22, 2019, accompanied by The Fabulous Killjoys.

JET: Hi.

KOBRA: _(Bored)_ Hello

GHOUL: Sup.

PARTY: Howdy.

DEATH: Now, in my years working with the Fabulous Killjoys - and by working, I mean having these four cowards runnin’ to me with their tails between their legs whenever there was a problem _(Background sounds of disagreement)_ \- I’ve encountered a lot of wacky stuff. No zonerunner is stranger to any wacky stuff. But this story I'm about to document for whoever cares to listen is one of the wackiest. So get somewhere comfy and lend an ear, children. 

DEATH, CONT: Here in the zones, art is our weapon, yeah? You got your creativity, you can exchange blasts with Better Living. Now I want you to put that creativity to use and imagine a parallel universe. In this one, our dear Killjoys are fightin' the system in a different way- making music. That's right.

DEATH, CONT: Just like the zones' own superstars, Mad Gear and the Missile Kid, these four were blasting the tunes into the ears of those who needed it the most, callin’ themselves My Chemical Romance. One day, with a bang, as these songful, bizarre Killjoys told me when I met them again, they found themselves ass down in the sand of our very own desert, with our very own Jet Star and the Kobra Kid staring down at them.

KOBRA: Okay, it wasn’t _that dramatic_ -

PARTY: He’s making you sound cool, Kobra.

KOBRA: Impossible to do the same for you.

DEATH: They were stickin’ out like sore thumbs out here in the desert, and not in a good way, tumbleweeds. Now, Jet Star and the Kobra Kid-

GHOUL: _(Indistinct)_

KOBRA: Prepared?

JET: They weren’t prepared, man. They were deep-sixed out here so fast, they left their shadows behind.

DEATH: Jet Star and the Kobra Kid-

GHOUL: _(Background)_ You said they knew what was happening. With like, the desert and stuff.

JET: N- Uh, when did I tell you?

GHOUL: You told Party an’ I overheard it.

PARTY: What?

DEATH: Jet Star and the Kobra Kid had recently-

KOBRA: They said we weren’t _real,_ Ghoul. It was really rude, y’know, ‘cause-

DEATH: Alright, children. How about _you_ tell the story, since you know what happened best.

KILLJOYS: Okay.

PARTY: _(Loudly)_ So Kobra and Jet got fucking cacti’d by some dracs because they _suck-_

KOBRA: Hey!

JET: “Cacti’d” isn't even a word!

PARTY: Shut _up,_ I do what I want!

DEATH: This is why _I_ was going to tell the story.

GHOUL: Why’d you invite us then?

DEATH: I didn’t.

JET: Guys, be quiet.

KOBRA: Party just insulted us, Jet! I’m not gonna let them get away with it.

DEATH: Oh boy, that's enough I think. I’m going to fetch myself a drink.

JET: _(With authority)_ Everybody shut _up._ I’ll tell the story from here.

JET, CONT: So, Kobra and I were on a supply run, but we got ambushed by some dracs. We were completely X-ed out. Bikes were useless, everything. A shame too, I worked hard on mine… _(wistful)_

KOBRA: Jet.

GHOUL: _(Muffled giggle)_

JET: Sorry. So, we were at the side of Route Guano when these guys popped up. They looked, what, 30?

KOBRA: Older than Dr. D, I think. And he’s like, 35.

JET: Yeah. They were old, man.

GHOUL: When we met them, Party’s older self, uh, he looked like a tree! _(laugh)_

_(Silence)_

PARTY: I mean, you’re not wrong.

GHOUL: Older me looked good. Like, _damn._

PARTY: Don't flatter yourself, sweetie. Older Kobra looked better.

KOBRA: Yeah, I hope I look like that if I live that long.

GHOUL: We were all hot. Literally and physically- ha!

JET: What about me? I looked exactly the same.

GHOUL: That's because you're already hot, Jet.

KOBRA: We’re off track from the story here, guys. Anyways, we were all generally freaked out. They were from a world where the Helium Wars never happened, and they were in a band or something. Jet wanted to bring them along.

JET: You didn't, and that concerns me.

KOBRA: _(Passionately)_ We don't take on liabilities in the desert. It's the difference between life and death. Plus, your wrist was broken, and we had to get you to Dr. D as soon as possible.

JET: _(Smugly)_ But you love me, so we brought them along.

KOBRA: I love you enough. Well, we brought them along anyway. We needed to find a radio, right? And food and water, of course, but a radio to call Party and Ghoul and get the news from Dr. D.

JET: We found that hotel that Tommy Chow Mein was squatting in a few days ago. We found enough stuff for all of us, and I built a radio with some spare parts.

GHOUL: That’s when Dr. D announced your deaths!

JET: Yeah. _(laugh)_ Kobra threw a right fit about that. The ‘Chemical Romance’ guys were laughing, though. I don’t know why. It was kind of rude, seeing as to the rest of the zones we just _DIED_.

KOBRA: And they tried to predict the future, or something! What did they say, about Party coming, and seeking revenge, and a girl...

PARTY: They were right about that, I _was_ gonna come an’ seek revenge. 

GHOUL: But then you crafty motherfuckers sent us a transmission with the radio!

JET: Yeah. But the Trans Am was broken. _(Cough)_ Ghoul and Kobra _(Cough)._

GHOUL: It was an accident!

JET: You drove the Trans Am over a _house,_ Ghoul. Kobra, don’t pretend you didn’t have a part.

KOBRA: It was for charity!

GHOUL: It was awesome, though. Shit, man, I thought the Phoenix Witch was gonna get us!

KOBRA: Yeah, everybody was freaking out! All while Party and Jet were off with the porn bots-

JET: Uh, that’s enough.

PARTY: We had to come bother Dr. D to rescue you guys.

DEATH: You motorbabies know my vehicles aren’t in good shape. I had to call Cherri Cola from where he was off de-bugging Zone 5!

JET: You guys came too late anyway.

GHOUL: How did the dracs find you? 

KOBRA: _(patronizingly)_ You're skipping over _so_ much, Ghoul.

JET: We closed the hotel up because that sandstorm was coming. Oh boy, _that_ was a badly timed storm. The dracs eventually found the hotel and, eventually, us. That was when the My Chem boys _really_ started to panic.

PARTY: Tell me what they did about the dracs again! I was only there to see the end, but _oh_ that was badass. Legendary! Iconic!

KOBRA: _(excitedly)_ They dropped the lobby roof on them. It was fucking _epic._

JET: Turns out they’re about as mischevious as us when they get around to it, and blew up the pillars with some spare gunpowder Tommy left behind. 

KOBRA: Lucky, too, because Tommy _never_ leaves behind the merchandise. 

DEATH: That’s not nearly enough detail, boys. We pride ourselves on quality at WKIL.

KOBRA: So, Jet and I were just finished boarding up the place when we saw the dracs. We ran back inside to get the Chem boys to safety, but they seemed to know what was going on already. What’d they say, Jet? That they discussed what happened- doing that superiority know-it-all thing again. 

JET: Yeah. We stuffed them in the basement to get them out of harm's way, but that’s where they found that goddamn gunpowder. How did they not know it was a stupid idea, honestly? They know that dracs are dangerous, and, no offence, did _not_ look like they knew how to fight.

GHOUL: Stop acting like you wouldn't do the exact same thing, Jet. Anyways, they covered the pillars and walls holding the roof up with gunpowder before the dracs came in, while you guys were slacking off on the other side of the hotel. That was when we pulled up.

KOBRA: I’m still mad at you for letting Ghoul drive, Party. He’s not mature enough.

GHOUL: Fuck you, Kobra. I did a great job. But as we were driving up, the dracs were pouring into the hotel, and then, there was an explosion and the roof just fucking _collapsed_.

PARTY: _(excitedly)_ It was epic!

KOBRA: It _so_ was!

JET: There were only a few dracs left after that, but Party took care of that pretty quick.

GHOUL: And then Jet started freaking out over the Chem boys being in the hotel- which, at this point, was starting to burn, when they burst out a side door like they had the Phoenix Witch on their tails! I mean. They kind of did.

PARTY: Still, they did pretty fucking good for their first clap. Killing that many dracs in one go. What did Older Jet say, Older Ghoul lit the gunpowder with a lighter?

KOBRA: Yes, that’s how it went, I believe.

PARTY: _(amazed)_ Crafty.

JET: They were excited to see Ghoul and Party, but a hotel just fucking _exploded_ so we had to haul ass or get dusted. We piled into the car and went back to Dr. D’s garage. Show Pony was there already and they were really hitting it off with other Party.

GHOUL: Most importantly, this was an occasion Dr. D felt was important enough to piggyback himself out of his shack for once, to come and meet the Chem boys. 

DEATH: But I never got past introductions, because, as before, with a bang and a flash, those killjoys were gone. 

PARTY: They came back though! A few months ago.

KOBRA: That’s a whole other story.

DEATH: That is true. And with the story reaching the departure of our musical allies, I must wrap up our tape.

GHOUL: Already?

DEATH: I’ve had enough of you skunks for today. If you want to get back to the diner in time for nightfall, you zonerunners best be heading out. Why don’t you all say goodbye before I do the outro?

PARTY: Bye, babes

KOBRA: Bye

JET: Thank you for having us!

GHOUL: I’ll see you later, Dr. D.

DEATH: And with that, I must go. Remember kids. Keep Runnin, and don’t ever let them take you alive. This is Dr D, signing off.

_END OF TAPE_


End file.
